How much time do you spend in the ‘Drama Triangle’?

“Stick up one finger and extend your arm right out, aligning your finger with your nose.“Can you see the end of your finger?”“

“Can you see the end of your finger?”

Yes Nikki”  I replied  (inside thinking – where is she going with this?!).

Great” said Nikki.  “Now, bring your finger closer to your nose… closer… even closer. Can you still see the end of your finger?”

“No Nikki.”

Sometimes we just don’t have the ability to see what’s right in front of us.  And that’s why, if you’re a business owner, you should have a coach, not just to support growth (but that’s a big part of it), but to also help you understand the wider picture, including ensuring we don’t get pulled into the drama triangle by customers, suppliers and staff…

What’s the drama triangle? Karpman Drama Triangle was not created by Nikki, but she offered the diagram as a way of understanding human behaviour.  What was even more fascinating was how we all are guilty of spending time in the drama triangle and how there’s never a happy ending.

In a corner

When you’re in the drama triangle, you take of one of three roles.  You may naturally enter the triangle as one role, but you can shift from being:

  • The persecutor
  • The victim
  • The rescuer

The fact is, all of these behaviour styles are toxic and do nothing to fix the issue and get the problem solved.  Each others’ answers will just antagonise all involved and can also lead to multiple drama triangles being developed.

Being able to step outside of the drama triangle will show those involved that you have the confidence they need and can find a resolution without laying blame, being aggressive, over helpful or become over-sensitive, and quickly the issue should fizzle out or be more manageable and contained.

Here’s a video I found that best explains.

This week see how many times people try and suck you into their drama triangle; and if you want to learn how to step outside and take charge, book a session with Nikki Wild – Brevity’s business coach.

This blog has been written as a testimonial for Wild Empowerment.  Contact Nikki Wild if you’re looking to grow your business and develop better relationships with employees, customers and suppliers.

 “Meeting with Nikki for half a day once a month ensures I remain focused on business growth.  When my business grew rapidly last year, it was time to start putting pillars in place. Nikki offers the guidance and tools required to build your business for the long-term. Having someone you can talk through situations that arise is also extremely beneficial.”  Kaia Vincent